Two words: Social Media.
I mean, honestly, life was so much more simpler and less confusing before Facebook. I remember when FB first came about and you could only be friends with people from your college. Then, you could be friends with people from other colleges--but you must have a college email account. Then the big WHAM happened...
It became open to anyone outside of college. Soon my friend list grew from a few hundred to over a 1,000. My pictures became very public and I had to soon lock down my profile. People became nosy. People became stalkers. What was once a fun way to connect with people has soon spiraled to addiction, dishonesty, and causing way more drama than Mark Zuckerberg ever imagined happening, I am sure.
Facebook can become very addicting--to find yourself scrolling through your newsfeed out of boredom or to see what mood someone is in--high on life one day, hating life the next. And heaven forbid the server is down or it's slow. I found myself haphazardly stalking people, without even really realizing it. I was spending more time on there, "connecting" with people, posting statuses constantly, and tagging and commenting on statuses...all...day...long. My conversations began to center around "Did you see her status?... How are they friends? Who is this girl in the picture with him?" I was driving myself crazy. As I started limiting my time on there, I noticed how so many people share such personal information on FB, especially my, achem, family (I'm sure I will get backlash from this or a nice little FB inbox message in the next day or so). When a website turned from something that was fun to connect and share pictures with others quickly became a public display of too much information and drama that should be kept behind closed doors. So, for a month or so over the summer I took a break from FB. I had to get out of the world that was sucking me in and dragging me down. And oh my word. It was so refreshing. I found my attitude had changed. I wasn't consumed with what someone's status meant. I liked that people didn't know where I went or what I was doing. Life became simple and quiet. I didn't like how public my life became through social media. And it wasn't just me that was posting stuff--I was getting caught up in family affairs. Others were asking me what in the heck was going on with my family and FB and I loved saying, "I have no clue. I haven't been on in a while." Smile, then walk away.
In August I reactivated my account so that I could keep up with new friends from Alabama. Even then, I really and still don't post a whole lot on FB. My family does enough of that for me. If I do post, I try to make it light hearted or encouraging. But, the last couple weeks I have become completely disturbed, appalled, and disgraced at what has unfolded in front of me and the rest of the FB world. So let's be honest here, shall we?
FB is the not the place to air your (or our) dirty laundry. Calling someone out in a vague status is being a coward. It shows you have no respect for that person or for yourself. Painting an image of someone you truly are not through pictures, statuses, and snippy comments makes you look trashy and pitiful. Once upon a time, when you had a problem with someone, you contacted that person through telephone or went to see them. However, today if you are upset with someone you call that person out in front of 800 viewers--more if you tag that person in the status. Doing this on FB is now the normal. And we wonder why our children are dramatic, critical, negative, and feel neglected? What example are we setting? I mean, it makes perfect sense. Why should our children learn to work out problems or situations through spoken words face to face when they see their parents and other adults throw up a status about the latest drama we have found ourselves centered in. When one does this, you are only drawing attention to yourself and the negativity of your attitude. If you want the spotlight, find it somewhere else off line.
I completely understand that FB is a free access, voice what you feel, and you may even tell me to go else where after reading this. But let's be honest, would you want someone coming into your house, rummaging through your laundry and wastebasket? It's the same concept. There's a reason the trash people come once a week to haul away the garbage--it begins to stink and the stench can soak into your sofa and become your aura that no one wants to smell. Writing a paragraph of how you're holding your head high, taking the high road, and going to let others kiss your arse as you walk away--no one is following you. And the ones following you have their noses so far up your rear end they don't know where their own starts or ends. They feel like they have a voice in the current situation, but they don't. I barely even have a voice. But, let's just remember this: when we display such public statuses, comments, drama--you will be judged. People will talk. People will wonder. People will lose respect for you. Your character becomes tarnished. Your reputation will always arrive before you do. You say you live an open book life. Really? Hmm. Because I don't recall receiving the phone call or the message--but instead, find out on FB. Thanks for being honest with FB before notifying me of this new found life of living. And let's just go ahead and say (because God knows I have lost count how many times I have seen this quote posted on FB), "Only God will judge me." You're right. He will, and He is right now. May He have mercy on your soul because let's not also forget that the Bible does call us to walk and live a life of love, be humble, and speak kindness. Where is this at? Apparently not in my newsfeed lately.
I'm not perfect. God knows I have my imperfections and I struggle daily. I screw up each day. But, I have enough common sense to not make it a public notion. I am pretty much a tight lipped, no comment person. No one's family is perfect. My family has seen it's share and is currently in turmoil. It hurts to see the ones that I have loved for the last 28 years become divided and so hateful to one another. I have lost relationships with some of the most precious people in my life. Do I love them any less because of their actions? Absolutely not. Did I love my dad any less when he had an affair and was absent from my life for five years? Nope, not all. Did I love my brother any less when he went through his dark storm for years and years? No, my love only increased. Am I disappointed at how situations are being handled? Absolutely. Having it thrown out on FB for all the world to see the bickering is not fair. It's not fair to our family and it's not fair for others to see. I am sure we are a comedy act that at night, as you lay down with your wife or husband you say, "Good Lord. That family. Let's pray now for them." And yes, pray for us. Maybe even fast or two would help. If you had to block a couple of my family members from your timeline--that's ok because I have done the same.
Facebook. If it was removed from your life for a few days, how would your social life change? Are you living life so that you can post your next glorified status? Or, are you searching for ways to be encouraging and positive? I can promise you this--those people that rarely post a status, pictures, or comments have a life they are living outside of Facebook. That life is so much more rewarding, and exciting than the endless character number count in the status block.
So, let me just apologize for any unnecessary statuses or comments you have had to read or may read in the upcoming days.
Do you think Lifetime would be interested in creating a mini-series? I think we would have a winner.
*side note update* After having this post up for five minutes, I had a couple people ask me why don't I just call out the names of who I am talking about because am I not doing the same thing, writing a vague blog about those people? One: I have class so I am not going to stoop to that level. Two, those that read this know who they are. Three: slander. Four: this is a blog post, not a FB status. Blogs are meant to express thoughts and feelings; posts are MEANT to be short little quips.
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