I just don't even know

    School started back this week. And my brain feels like it has been on overload. It feels like we have been in school for three weeks--and actually, it's only been two days.

    Lord, help me. My class has been the one the sweetest, most "normal" classes I have had in long time. It's kind of...weird.

    I'm not even sure what the purpose of this blog is tonight. I just kind of felt like I needed to write something.

    This past weekend I celebrated two of my best friends' birthdays- Lo's and Mer's. Both of these girls have been two of my best friends my whole childhood. I met Lo when were in Bethel Daycare together from early childhood. I met Mer on our first day of third grade--inseparable since then. And these girls--they have been some of the greatest friends I have ever had the privilege of knowing. We have seen each other grow up, graduate high school and college, get married (well, those two have gotten married), and started families. Honestly, I always thought I would be the first to get married and have kids (because I always wanted it so badly) but those two--they beat me to it. And I even hate to use the word "beat" because it's not a race. They married two wonderful men, who are like brothers to me. I don't know many people who would trust their husband with their best friend--but we are like a small family. Three couples, with a three year old, one baby on the way and I'm like that younger, free spirited sister that just does whatever she wants to do and is kept in line by the older three couples. Anyways, my point being, Mer and Lo--I love you two. Happy birthday! Two more years till the dirty 30! That year--it will be a whole celebration all around!

 Probably my favorite picture of Lo--ever. It's her picture when she calls, it's framed in my dining room, and I even think I have a copy at school. Get it girl.

oh, you stupid witch!

 BMW Golf Pro AM Wine and Dine

 Before Ben changed our world!

A girls' weekend away at Harrah's for LBT!

Jazz on the square.

Love these three girls. We may not be the most fancy girls, the best dressed, the richest, or loud mouth partiers. But we know how to love, support, laugh, cry. We make any situation a humorous, life learned lesson (more on that in a later post, achem).

 

     I feel like I need to have some profound post. But this school week (all two days of it) has taken all of me. However, I will say, I felt like I have a better since of "clarity" this school year. Officially, on my own. I feel like it's a year of changes. And I just know it's going to be my year. The number seven has always been my number. This is my seventh year teaching. So with that in mind, I just know it's going to be a great year. Sunday night, my aunt and uncle prayed over me at church at our Back to School Service. Having someone that you think highly of, respect, and love deeply pray over you is one of the best, tenderhearted, wholesome moments of your life. As my uncle prayed over me, and as my aunt whispered sweet prayers in my ears, tears streamed down my face. I felt a peace just come over me. I wasn't as anxious as I have been. I wasn't as stressed. I wasn't worried. I wasn't fearful. I heard God say, "Ok, Jess. Trust me. I will guide you--but you have to trust me." So, I trust. I trust that this year will be one of the better years I have had in a long time. I trust that this year God will stretch me--will change me. I trust that this year God is going to move big in my life. I trust that he is preparing me for something great--because I have been restless-- and I know it's going to be insane amazing. How do I know? Because he's that good--and he's just that type of God.

 

    With all that being said, I must retreat to my quiet place with The Jozier. I'm not sure when another "deep" post will hit me--maybe after I have refueled this weekend. I need a late morning in my bed, a belly full of laughs, and a lot of stress relief. After all, that's when God seems to speak to me the most and say, "See--you're ok. Look at how much happier you are in me, than you were in yourself."

 

     Ditto, God. Ditto. 



Ramblings

    I leave for the beach tomorrow for a few days. I am super excited to get to spend some time with one of my college best friends, Jess. We were inseparable our whole time at WU. Everyone used to say, "Where one Jess was, another was sure to follow behind." So, when we graduated and I moved back to Spartanburg, and her to Gastonia then India then back to Pawley's--it's been touch and go the last couple of years. And, I haven't had the opportunity to take a vacation yet this summer so I figured it would be the perfect time to take my last three days of summer vacation to get away and spend some time with an old friend.

     With that said, I need to pack. Currently, my dining room is a total disaster where I have been unpacking from Nicaragua. Also, with a busted washing machine, I have been toting clothes back and forth between my mom's place to wash clothes. Not to mention the school stuff that has accumulated in my bedroom and living room. I'm just not in the mood.

    But rather, I am in a rambling mood. So, with that being said, I'm just going to kind of lamely blog about whatever is running through my mind tonight.

1. Packing is overrated. Unpacking is overrated. I never know what outfits to pack. I always over pack-- I rather have too many choices than not enough because you never know what you're going to be in the mood to wear.
2. Josie stinks. I really need to give her a bath. But, if she didn't go roll around in the yard and dirt all the time she wouldn't stink all the flipping time. As I type this, she is nudging me with her long-dong dog that she plays with. Toss and fetch-toss and fetch.
3. What is the correct name for those types of stuffed dogs anyways?
4. I love my little historic home. I am going to hate moving from it one day. I have worked so hard to make it like home and comfortable. And NO ONE better tell me I am a hoarder.
5. I am so proud of myself. I busted tail in my classroom today to get it organized and ready for next week. It's not perfect but my goodness it is so much better than it was before (see previous post about my fear of my closet).
6. My keyless entry on my car stopped working yesterday. And I discovered this when I was loaded down with stuff--in the pouring rain. And, I also noticed that my trunk does not have a key hole. Can we say, inconvenient?
7. I have GOT to start running again. I feel like a big ole fat slug.
8. I love getting random surprises or receiving random acts of kindness. Which, I don't know a person that doesn't enjoy random surprises. And it never really has to be anything big. For example, at the beginning of each school year my mother makes me a huge container of her chicken salad, pasta salad, stocks up on granola bars and buys me my favorite coffee creamer. It makes my first week seem so much sweeter and a little bit easier. Now that I think about it, I guess that does seem like a big act of kindness...
9. My Pandora radio stays on "Hillsong United" or "Miranda Lambert." Two contrasting radio playlists--but my favorites to get me quiet or motivated.
10. I don't care what Meredith says-- Moscato may be a cheap wine, but it's still my favorite. Actually, Pink Moscato Champagne is my favorite. And boxed wine. I obviously don't have expensive taste.
11. I would love just one day to lay in bed all day, and it totally be ok. Not having to worry about being somewhere. Or being judged. Well, forget being judged. I wouldn't care if I was judged for being lazy for one day out of my life.
12. I think I used that excuse most of the summer, anyways.
13. I have come to accept that fact that I will be ok if God blesses me with a house full of little boys. This was not ok not too long ago.
14. I am learning to let things go and just deal with things as they come. And it sucks.
15. Sometimes I wish I could see into the future so I would know what was coming. But, then that's part of the adventure of life, right? 
16. I used three bobby pins I found on the floor tonight to pin my hair back for dinner.
17. "How Great Thou Art" and "It is well with my soul" always makes me cry and realizes how inadequate we are to God but so loved by Him.
18. I can't believe Blackberry is still in business. Who still uses a Blackberry? Anyone? Which, I swore by a Blackberry for almost 4 years--until I got my iPhone.
19. I am super excited about this school year. We are going to rock it and be the best.
20. I want my husband to brush my hair for me at least once a week. Or massage my head. I will forever be his and do whatever he wants me to do. Whoa. That just got personal.

Ok. 20 ramblings. I think that's enough. I'm putting off the packing until tomorrow morning. My beauty sleep is much more important at this moment.