The Little Things... Starting with Prayer

   Today in church I saw the smallest little gesture at the end of the service. I am pretty sure no one else saw this, as it was during prayer time. And I am sure this husband did not think it was a big deal, but I picked up on it. As our pastor was ending in prayer, I was bowing my head and I caught a movement to my right. As I glanced over, I noticed that a husband had wrapped his arms around his wife's shoulders, and whispering a prayer in her ear, fervently. I don't know what prayer was he praying; whatever it was must have been a sweet, merciful prayer because as he prayed, tears streamed down her face. I couldn't help but stare. He did this throughout the whole closing prayer. It's not uncommon to see couples go down to the front alter and bow together to pray. Or see couples join hands during prayer. But to see this couple, off to the side, praying quietly with the husband leading the prayer was absolutely powerful and touching.

    This image has stuck with me all day. How blessed is that woman that her husband--who without shame, would wrap his arms around her and whisper a prayer in her ear, not caring who noticed, or who even heard his prayer. I would think that this is an indication of their prayer life. I would like to think he prays for his family like this each day. Maybe he wraps his arms around his wife each night before bed and prays. Maybe he does the same for his children, and even his grandchildren. A praying husband is a powerful blessing to have in a marriage that is based on Christ.

    Instantly, I prayed "God, send me a husband like that. A husband that will wrap his arms around me, whisper prayers in my ears that would bring sweet tears to my eyes. Tears of joy, tears of appreciation, tears of love." Knowing that God is going to give me a man who not only loves me as deep as Christ loves me, but that will also lift me up in prayer on a daily basis is one of the most humbling, enduring treasures I cannot wait to experience.

   I don't know who my husband is for God has not exactly revealed this yet (for I keep telling myself God is a god of perfect timing). But I would hope that my husband, whoever or wherever he is, is praying a passionate, truthful, honest prayer for God's will in my life and his life. I came across a great blog called Paul's Ponderings. He wrote a post on how a Christian man can pray for his girlfriend and for God's will to be done in her life and also in his. You can find it here. Definitely worth for all men and women to check out.

  So, as I thought about that couple today and I look at where I am right now I am reminded: that couple-- that praying couple-- that is what I long for, that is what God has planned for me one day. I just know it. This I pray...

"...we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding..." Colossians 1:9-10

  

  

Trust: An Unconditional Love

I'm back! My trip was incredible. Indescribable. Which is why I haven't blogged about it, yet. I have been catching up on my jet lag and spending time today just taking it easy. However, I do promise tomorrow to upload some pictures and post more about it.

Tonight, though, I was thinking about trust. It's a staple in any relationship. Think about it-- every relationship or friendship is built on that. Some people automatically trust. Some do not trust so easily and one has to earn that trust. Often times this comes from being hurt repeatedly in the past, or even just in one instance. And when that trust is lost, it can be so hard to gain back. But I was thinking more tonight about how do you know when to trust people--again. I believe we all deserve second chances, in most cases. But I have such a hard time writing people off immediately. I know people that if you do something that causes them to lose trust in you, then can forget ever entering their world again. And these people are usually more protective of the ones they love, they are strong willed and very outspoken. I also know people that are so open to love, forgiveness, and will always try again. I don't mean people that just constantly keep going back to a bad relationship, but they don't hold grudges. They don't belittle those around them. I admire those people because those tend to be the most tenderhearted ones. But, you know, I'm not one to write people off immediately. I have a hard time walking away from friendships or relationships. It takes me finally having to come to that point on my own to walk away. No one can force me, talk me into it, or lecture me into doing it. I have to find out for my own. Sometimes I'm glad I did not leave the friendship in the dust because God shows me how it was part of his plan the whole time--most of the time it was teaching me a lesson. And other times, it shows me that not everyone is perfect and I have to forgive but move on.

I typically trust friends easily. I have several close friends, each one that I share intimate or important things with. I guess you could say I have a very well rounded group of friends. But in the relationship department-- I struggle with trusting men. The first man I loved, my dad, lost all my trust for a while. I am working on trusting him once again and rebuilding that relationship because I know one day it will bring honor to God. The second man in my life I loved for five years. I was never the jealous type. Never questioned him or had any reason to really question anything. The relationship ended out of no where and my whole world was turned upside down. Ever since then I have had a hard time trusting. What was once a strength of mine has now become a weakness. And I hate it. I know it's the enemy--taking any opportunity for me to doubt any future relationships.

I started reading through the Word to see what exactly God's thoughts were about trust. In John 14:1 Jesus says "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." King David in Psalm 56:4 writes "In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?"  The Bible also states several times to not trust man, but God alone. We shouldn't put all our hope into one person, or one relationship. We are not perfect, so we will all at some point let someone down. Probably daily in some sort of way. That phone call you were supposed to make but you didn't. That task at work you said you would have done, but you never finished it because you got distracted. That promise you made to your child to take them to get ice cream but you got caught up at work. That time with someone special or a friend you were supposed to make happen but you didn't follow through. Or, promising your dog to go for a walk but fell asleep on the couch. Each little thing breaks down that pillar of trust.

So I started thinking, "Ok. So not to trust man. Got it. Trust God. I mean really put faith in Him and his works because in the end, it's all going to come out for the good for me and bring Him glory." It made me think of when I went zip lining on our R&R day in Nicaragua. I was strapped to a cable cord that hung thousands of feet about the ground, in the forests of Nicaragua. I decided to do something different. Well, Michael dared me to zip line backwards, upside down. Being one to not have a man prove that he can do something that I cannot, I accepted the challenge. But right before I was pushed off the platform, I truly had my trust in that cable, in the guide that I was hooked up right, in the other guide at the end of the cable that he would catch me. One snap, or unhook and I was done for in that forest. But I did it. I went and trusted in that cable and tour guides--and it was the best rush of my life. Trusting God is like that. When we really put our faith in God, and anchor that hope in our soul to Him, the ride and rush he will take us on will be breathtaking. You just have to take that step and know that he is going to always keep you sailing through your life.

But, what does this mean about trusting in relationships again? Lately, I have been so prayerful about certain relationships. I know that sounds like I am typically not prayerful with them, but I have really been pouring out some time, thoughts, and prayers. And I am trusting that God is working in them because I have already seen the fruit and his overwhelming response to me through answered prayers or little quips. I know at some point I will have to trust in a relationship again. If you ask any married couple or two people in a relationship what is one building block of foundation on their relationship they are going to say trust and love. And lately God keeps pointing me to the theme of "love" in Ephesians and 1 Corinthians. Tonight, it was 1 Corinthians13:7: Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. How does love trust? We aren't to trust people but to love them. When we give love to one another, we are seeking trust. It may not be a lot of love at first, but with each little service of love, trust is built. When we love we are communicating trust. In time, faith will come in that person. We become hopeful. And love will always out win any given situation. I have always heard my mom says, "Love is a choice." I totally believe that. You choose who you want to love and who you want to be with. You choose how much time, energy, trust, and hope you put into a relationship and into a person. You can choose to love someone so much, just as Christ loved us, that your heart is going to explode. Or, you can hate someone and push them away because that may be easy at the moment, but in the end it is going to suck.

But, let's be real here for a minute. Some people are hard to love. Lord help us and them. But that's what is so amazing about love. It is unconditional. Colossians 3:12-14: ...clothe yourself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience...and put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. How can we have compassion towards others if we don't love them? How can we be gentle and have patience if we are have such hate in our hearts? I know I have had to call upon God to show me how to love someone when I have completely lost patience with that person. It may not be an instant answered prayer, but something that God slowly shows me how deal or change my heart so that I can be patient. It's a tough prayer that does not need to be taken lightly.

In order for me to truly trust in relationships again, I must trust that God will be my harbor of hope, that he will not lead me astray. That any situation or circumstance I am in is to bring him honor. But I also know I can't truly trust in any relationship until I learn to love unconditionally. I'm not quite sure how to love unconditionally. But I pray that God will show me how. I also pray that God will grant me discernment so that I know when to discern fact from fiction. And that's when I have to be quiet and listen.

Trust. It's something that's earned. It's something that can be easily lost in man. But it comes from an unconditional love from deep within, based on Christ's extravagant love for us. Trust. Will it happen again for me? I like to think so. I have a little bit more hope tonight.

Let's grab the heart of the world and turn it to the light.

He will deliver the needy who cry out,

the afflicted who have no one to help. Psalm 72:12   

   I wanted to take some quiet moments this morning to reflect on my upcoming adventure. That sounded really serious. But anyways, I leave tomorrow to head to Nicaragua to work with Chosen Children Ministries for a week. I am traveling with my aunt and uncle and about 20 other people. This is not my first mission trip across the seas or traveling a long distance away from home (example: the summer I graduated from college I traveled across Colombia with my grandfather and my dad for almost a month--not sure how I survived that trip). But, with this trip, I have been more anxious about leaving. I guess when I was younger, I didn't really think about taking off to Jamaica a few times, spending a summer in Venezuela when I was 14, or traveling to Honduras over Christmas break with college friends, or deciding to take 60 college kids halfway across the US to Texas for Spring Break. Now, I'm thinking about what all could go wrong. Have I really become settled in my age that I am restless over a mission trip over seas?

   While I am gone, I asking everyone to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I have had tremendous support from friends and families while preparing for this trip, financially and emotionally. From a couple families that have help fund my trip, my mom for lending me shorts to wear (because I can't go pants-less in Nicaragua), to a coworker for supplying the materials to make the hygiene bags so that a part of her is being sent to Nicaragua, and to friends who have prayed continuously for this trip. However, it doesn't stop there. That is only the beginning. The most support I will need will be for the next week. Here are some things you could be praying for me and for my team.

• Pray for me! Like I stated, I have been anxious about leaving. I am not sure why my heart has been unsettled for a while now. But I know God is just preparing the prepared. Pray that I will have a peace while traveling, that I will step out of the way and that God will use me to the most extreme while I am in Nicaragua. (Wow- that's a pretty powerful prayer. I better get ready.)
• Pray for safe travels. We fly out of GSP at noon on Saturday, fly to ATL, have a 3-4 hour overlay then head to Nicaragua around 5. We should land there about 10 PM our time. 
• Pray for GREAT health! No sickness. No headaches. No upset tummies. Pray for our team to have a lot of energy and motivation!
• Pray for our ministry. We will be working with the children in the orphanages, sharing our faith, feeding the community, and several other small projects in a short week.
• Pray for the people of Nicaragua. Being a very poor country, they are grateful and thankful for whatever is given to them. Pray that their hearts will be softened and opened to God's word and to us.
• Pray for my mother. She is taking care of my sweet Josie while I am gone. Bless...

   There are so many other things that I could list for you to be in prayer for this next week. My prayer for you is that God will move in your heart while I am gone. Yes, I am in another country sharing God's incredible love. But you, my friend, have a ministry right where you are living. I challenge you while I am gone to do something out of love and care for someone around you. Friend, family member, or stranger-- pay it forward. The Bible states that all we have to do is plant the seed and God will take care of the harvest. We may never see the results of our work, but He does. What is going to be your mission for the next day--week--or month?