One time I complimented a really good friend on how good she looked (she had been working out). She instantly found a way to reject my comment and turn it into something negative about herself ("I'm still not at my goal weight"). I gave the same compliment again. She responded with a similar comment from before. I finally said, "Taking the flippin compliment! You are making me so mad!"
I think it's hard for women to take a compliment because we have always been taught to be humble. Don't be a prideful, high class attitude woman. But you should have confidence--but not too much, or you will become intimidating and cocky. Plus, we are always comparing ourselves to someone else--thinking they are better than us and we have to reach that status. For example, I am and still obsessed with the Kardashian butt. I know I have a large butt; however I want "that Kardashian butt." So instead of focusing on what I have and working with it, I look at what I think it should look like.
We also have that "bully" inside of us. I'm not talking about the you had a mother or father who always put you down and told you that you were ugly and not worth the time. I'm talking about the little voice inside of us that says, "Nah. She's just saying that. She doesn't mean it. You don't look that good." But you do! You most certainly do!
So, ladies, what can you do to change this attitude? Accept the compliment. Take it. I know it is hard, but I promise, no one is going to think any less of you for saying, "Thank you!" If you reject it, you will come across as rude. If someone didn't think it was worth the compliment, then they wouldn't have wasted their breath.
My mother has gone through a huge body transformation in the last two years. She had lap band surgery and had a total body lift. During the total body lift surgery, the doctor removed 11 pounds of skin. 11 POUNDS OF SKIN. How crazy is that? She went from weighing over 200 pounds to getting down below 170. She looks amazing! But, when she started having to dress her new body the image of herself was distorted. So many people complimented her on her new body, how good she looked, and how happy they were for her. My mother always responded with, "I still have a long ways to go. I want to do my arms next. Or I want to get some work done on my face." One day I asked her why couldn't she just take a compliment? Just accept it. And she told me, "Jessica, when I look in the mirror, I still see the old overweight Becky. I just can't accept that what I see now is really me." I took her into my closet and gave her a cardigan wrap (that is clingy) to wear to a funeral that day. She told me, "This isn't going to fit. It's not going to work. I'm too big." I practically had to wrestle her into the wrap. And would you know, she looked stunning. I told her, "Show off your new body. And when someone compliments you today, you take it and smile. You will feel so much better about yourself." A few hours later she returned home and said I was right (duh!). She had so many people compliment her on her "new body" and how much they loved the cardigan (score!). I told her she needs to start dressing for her new body image and take the compliments that come her way from here on out.
When we take a compliment, it fills our bucket. We feel good about ourselves. When someone compliments me, I try to return the compliment to either them or someone else that day. One day at school I wore a light blue wrap shirt. One student told me, "Ms. Castro! You look good in blue!" I smiled and said thanks. Later on that day, I had teacher approach me and say, "That color looks so good on you. You should wear it more often." I instantly responded with, "I know! Thanks!" The teacher started laughing and said that I was confident in thinking that. I then had to explain that it wasn't that I was thinking high of myself but that someone else had already complimented me that day on my shirt so I needed to take a hint to wear that color more often. It wasn't that I was trying to put myself on a pedestal, but rather I was taking a comment to heart.
So ladies, when someone tells you that your makeup looks good that day, or they loved how you styled your hair-say thank you. It's the polite thing to do. Let's teach our daughters to accept compliments and learn to give them in return. Live a life of love
*Side note: If you Pinterest "Daily Odd Compliment" you will laugh and find that so many of those can apply to so many of your friends. I've already sent out four tonight.
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