...for you I pray.

   You know, praying for my future husband is probably one area that I am constantly in prayer over. I have been battling lately if that is a bad thing. But, I have come to realize that it isn't necessarily wrong to pray for my future husband-- if it is God's will for me to get married. And that--that is a whole other prayer time in itself. However, if it is God's will for me to get married (and I know my mother is on her knees each night praying the same thing, along asking for a grandchild or two) then I know I should be praying for him and for our future.You also have that image of what you look for in a husband. Mine isn't necessarily physical, but more of an emotional and personality traits that I am looking for. I don't like sharing my "traits" a whole lot because these are close to my heart. I like to see if each guy I date steps up and has such traits. I don't want to tell him what I look for specifically because I don't want him to change his true character just to match my standards. I believe that if I am meant to be with this one person, it will be revealed and brought to light over time. I guess that's what keeps me a mystery, and a part of my personality that can drive "The Newbie" crazy.

   I started researching what are some things a single girl should be praying about for her future husband, or even her current love interest. The list became quite expansive, intense, and convicting. Convicting that maybe my heart hasn't always been in the best spot as I have prayed in the past. Intense as these prayers shouldn't be taken lightly and I should be ready for God to move in my heart and his heart for these things to come to light. Expansive because there are a multitude of things that one can pray for husband/boyfriend. When these prayers are lifted up in true love and hope for a future, then I know God isn't going to disappoint.

1. His relationship with Christ. Christ should be and always remain the cornerstone in his life and in our relationship. (Isa 28:16) My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness...Christ alone, cornerstone.
2. From what comes from his mouth is an overflow of his heart. Encouraging, a witness, and testimony to God's grace and faithfulness. (Matt 12:34)
3. A man of prayer. He would seek God in prayer constantly and then talk second about it. He would lift me and others up in prayer daily. (James 5:16)
4. A humbled man. A man who knows that in order to have a successful heart, that God must be greater in all areas of his life. (John 3:30)
5. He would build friendships and surround himself with positive men in his life. (Provs 27:6)
6. Endurance and passion. To run with endurance, the race that is set before him, and to focus on pleasing you. (Heb  12: 1-2)
7. Encourager to me and others. (1 Thess 5:11)
8. Continue to develop as a leader for our relationship. (Eph 5:21-31)

These verse are just the beginning for something that could become amazingly crazy. I have prayed these in mine and Newbie's relationship, and it is apparent that God is working. When I have prayed for endurance, Newbie is right there in my face pushing me to the next level, that often comes in the form of a 5:30 AM phone call to get to the gym in the morning, or telling me that I can't do something {because that is my inner switch that makes me prove others wrong}. Or when I see God show how real He can be in one's life and change a man's heart. I think these prayers can be modified as life goes on and as each relationship develops. But for right now, for you I pray.

She brings good, not harm all the days of her life. {Provs 31:12}

Wait Quietly

If you truly know me, you know I am not the quietest person. When I get quiet, that's when I am really thinking. I become almost like a recluse. You have to pry personal information out of me. I often get fussed at by one of my best friends for not speaking my mind all the time. I am trying to get better at that with my friends.

However, when it comes to speaking to the good Lord above-- I am not so quiet. I ask questions, I complain, I offer praises, and some nights I find my hand cramping because I realize I have written 5 pages of prayers and thoughts. When I drifting off to sleep, I am talking to Him about a range of things--what tomorrow will bring, why someone said a certain thing to me that day, my response to people who have hurt me, what time I am going to have my coffee tomorrow morning, will my mother ever stop leaving voicemails? When I wake up, I say the Lord's prayer, then ask God to help me find that magical outfit to wear for the day. Or, ask him to give me patience with someone that I just want to punch in the throat (I'm really not that violent).

Lately, I have been discussing with Him why I am put into certain situations, or experiences. I don't often understand why-- and I pray for understanding. And I know our God is a God of perfect timing. Why this person? Why this failed relationship? Why this constant confusion? What did I do wrong? What did I do right? What can I learn from this? How am I going to approach this situation again (because I know it's going to happen again)? Why didn't you end it sooner? Was I that blind? (I just noticed that the teacher in me causes me to ask all the questions--inquiry learning and application, people.) It's no wonder God ever gets a word in edge wise with me. That's probably why God sends me such strong, opinionated friends and slap in the face events. I'm not quiet enough to listen. I then saw this quote on Pinterest this morning.

 

I love that this version says, "Let all that I am." That means every being-every ounce of me. This reminds me of when I went to see my brother in Greenwood the other weekend. We were sitting in the pew at the church service, listening to people give their testimony. A man in front of us stood up to give his. I had already had a previous conversation with this man earlier and he was an interesting character to say the least. And I think the quote he used was, "I didn't know God could save a sinner like me. I was just a singing Elvis impersonator, who was grinding on the weekends." One look at my brother, and we lost it. Well, of course, I could not stop giggling to myself. While I was so thrilled the Lord saved him, I was red in the face where I was trying to stifle my giggle and try not to shake the whole pew from laughing. My aunt left a nice little pinch mark on my arm like they used to do when you are 6 years old, misbehaving during the church service.

 

My point being, I had to use all of me to not just combust with laugher on that pew. And I have to remember that my same being, I have to control myself to be quiet before the Lord. Every ounce. Every being. Every question. I must wait. It's hard to sit and be quiet and to listen. And the verse says before  God. If I could conjure up an image of me and God, it would be something like this. Him, sitting in His chair, with a peaceful smile. Me, sitting cross legged at his feet, sipping my coffee and just being quiet, telling myself to shut up. Almost like playing the quiet game. And just waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And remembering that my hope is in him. When I constantly question what God does in my life, it's almost like I am not fully trusting him. That I am not putting my hope in him. While I think we should ask questions, we shouldn't question God's plan. And lately, I've been questioning God's plan and will for my life. 

 

What is so amazing is that God is so patient. How often do we lose our patience with people? Especially stupid people. As a teacher, you have to learn to deal with "that student" that constantly ask questions. And I always calmly look at "that student" and say, "If you let me finish, your question will be answered. May I continue, please?" And of course, that eager student says, "Yes! Go!" I am just that eager student, that wants to know what comes next. I am always thinking three steps ahead. God is that teacher just smiling, calmly saying, "If you let me finish, your question will be answered. May I continue, please?" Yes, you may. I will be quiet and wait.