Just another reason to love fall.

Most people do Throwback Thursday, or Flashback Friday. Let's call today "Memory Monday!" Below is a picture of me and Val the night Lauren went into labor.Val is one of my last "babyless" friends that has been to my go to let's-get-Jean-Icees pool girl and spontaneous drinks after a grueling day of third grade teaching. Her husband, Tony, has been a close friend since high school that I love like a brother and I get treated like the little sister. Last October we were out one night and I had a prediction for Val and Tony: they would be pregnant in the spring of 2014. All my friends laughed and told me to shove it because they were growing tired of my baby predictions (and may I say for the record, I have been correct with each one). Tony and Val laughed and said, "No. Maybe but seriously doubt it." In the back of my mind I thought, "Just wait. I'm calling it now!"

 As we were sitting at the hospital, killing time, waiting for little Eveen to arrive, we were talking and catching up (it's not very often I have Val in one place for extended hours of time during the school year--she tends to disappear). As I was looking through a pregnancy magazine and talking about Lo's pregnancy and being in labor, I jokingly turned to Val and said, "You're gonna make a baby tonight, I bet." She laughed and said, "No away. I'm exhausted." The subject was changed and I never gave it another thought.

 

 

Fast forward to about a month or so ago. Val had texted and suggested we grab lunch one Saturday. I immediately called her up and said, "Cribbs. Poor Educators Saturday. Bottomless Mimosas. We're going." (3 Saturdays out of the month, you can find me at Cribbs in a corner booth between 11-2--never miss an opportunity for bottomless mimosas). When Val arrived, she had a bottle of Peach Moscato--a rarity to find. She claimed Tony found it at the store the other day and bought me a bottle. On the back I noticed a piece of paper taped to it. I asked, "Where you find this? At the half priced liquor discount store?" As I ripped off the paper, there was a picture of her ultrasound (side note: is it bad that a friend announced her pregnancy to me with wine?). I immediately burst into tears--and shocked I didn't drop the bottle. I quickly reassured Val they were tears of joy and not of sadness (refer back to my post when four friends had a baby within months of one another). She hugged me and we stood there in my kitchen and cried. I cried because here were two of my best friends-about to bless me with being a "hot aunt"...again--but at the same time, another change and added blessing to our little group of friends. Val explained to me that she had to tell me before going to Cribbs because she knew I would call her out on not having a mimosa (I'm not that big of a nagger-promise).

 

I continued to ask the usual questions-"How far along are you? How is Tony taking it? How are you feeling? Who else knows? When is your due date?" When she told me how far along she was, I realized that "the night" was in February some time. Val made the comment, "When I peed on that stick and it was positive- I thought of you, Jess." Uh. Awkward. Why? The night Lo was in labor, Val had gone to the doctor earlier that day and her options for getting pregnant. I didn't know this. The doctor had told her that her best bet for getting pregnant would either be that night or in the next few nights. Then, when I made the comment about her making a baby that night--she said I called it and was right. Of course I was! Good gracious I am amazingly good.

 

So, here's my congrats to Val and Tony! I am so excited for you two! I can't wait to see what a southern blonde hair and a Italian bambino baby looks like!

 

 A friend told me the other day, "You know Jess, every time I see one of your friends get married or is have a baby, I just think of you and how supportive you are...and...well, I kind of feel bad for you." Don't feel bad for me. When I told Newbie about Val and Tony, he asked if I was ok. Believe me, I am enjoying these moments. Seeing the light in their eyes and the glow that comes from my friends as they hold their child and kiss them goodnight--you can't take that way. Watching my friends love more intense and so much more immensely for such a tiny person gives me hope and I can't help but think to myself, "I cannot wait until my friends can see that in my eyes and soul..."

 

(in five years, at least.)



When God Blesses You with Pregnant Friends

   Who doesn't love a pregnant belly? Well. Let me take that back. I saw some unattractive pregnant bellies today at the Southern Christmas Show. However, my friends have all been some of the most beautiful pregnant ladies I have ever seen. I'm not saying that because they are my friends but they all have truly carried their pregnancies effortlessly.

   Having pregnant friends hasn't been the easiest transition for me. I always had this picture that my friends and I would be pregnant together. But, when they all got married before me I kind of kissed that idea goodbye. So, I embraced each wedding shower and wedding event with love, excitement, and happiness for my friends. I have had to learn how to do this with baby showers, now. When Meredith first found out she was pregnant with Ben, I was so excited because I knew that this was something that she and Bryan had been praying for to happen in their life. I loved watching Mer's belly grow each month, see and feel Ben move, and loved accompanying Mer to dinners at Wade's at least once a week. When Benny Boo came into our world, mine and Mer's relationship changed. It took extra work, extra planning, and a whole lot more communication between me and her so our friendship wouldn't take a hit. I had to learn to be more understanding that Mer's priorities had changed, her schedule was no longer like mine and she was now a mother.

    Having one friend with a child--I was ok. I still had my other friends that were married but without kids. I was (and still find myself behaving this way) selfish in wanting my friends to myself. Then, Lindsey found out she was pregnant with sweet Ellie. When Lindsey blurted out to me one day at school that she was pregnant, I didn't believe her. It took her 15 minutes to convince me. Lindsey and I would dream about what little Ellie would look like, what her personality would become and how I could not wait to buy her sweet outfits. I was dreading Lindsey going out on maternity leave because she was going to be gone from January until Spring Break that year. When Lindsey had sweet Ellie and I was self declared as the "single hot aunt," I knew our friendship would be different but also sweeter. I saw Lindsey struggle with coming back to work and therefore, stocked her desk drawer full of M&Ms that we demolished in less than two weeks of her being back. What can I say, I am sympathy eater.

   Within two weeks, Camille and Lauren told me they were both pregnant. Camille became one of my closest friends in NC. When my time ended in NC, Camille was the only friend that continued to make an honest, true effort in staying in touch with me. Camille and I used to joke about us becoming mothers and how we would have to support one another together because it was going to be the only way we would get through the pregnancy and parenthood. When Camille called me with the news of her pregnancy, I cried tears of sweet joy. Camille decided to be the brave one and have a child before me. I was so happy! Then came Lauren. Lauren was always my fun friend. The one that I found myself getting into trouble with, or really we just dodged trouble. We never got caught. She was my rendezvous friend. Random dinners, coffee dates, and waxes was our go to. When Lo told me she was pregnant, it hit me so much harder than my other friends' pregnancies. With her, it became reality that my friends are growing up, and I am still a sitting duck. Also, Lo having a kid is silly to me because she is such the child at heart. But I know that she will be one of the most loving, compassionate mothers I will ever know. Plus, seeing her little "kickball belly" grow has been amazing. You can't even tell she pregnant from behind--it's insane.

 

   Finally, Valen told me one night out that she is planning on trying to have a baby in the next year. I was floored, and I am ashamed to say that it wasn't a pleasant floored. I was crushed. My final baby-less friend is wanting to have a baby. I will be surrounded by babies. What in the heck am I going to do with my life? I need to move and make new friends. I told Valen that when it's my time to finally have my long awaited bachelorette weekend, all my friends will be pumping-and-dumping while I just enjoy my bottle of pink Champagne..alone.

   It didn't take me long to feel convicted of my attitude towards my friends. While the transition has been hard, I realized I need to be happy and enjoy the blessing of having pregnant friends. I started to ask myself how have I been blessed with being surrounded by pregnant women and young mothers? In the last year, I have learned so much about a pregnant body that I did not even know existed (this leading me to my current fear of going through labor). They will be able to offer me so much advice and wisdom when it is my turn (because despite what Newbie says, I do want children...one day). I should be so lucky to be surrounded by best friends that have experience as being excellent mothers. I have watched my friends who have been wonderful friends become wonderful mothers. I have gained so much more respect for these women. They juggle being a mother, a wife, and full time job but they always have time for me and my crazy antics. They listen, they encourage, and they sometimes even indulge in my fantasies. I find myself being envious of my friends and their life--coming home to a husband and a child that they love unconditionally. I envy the chaos and the beautiful mess of their life. On the contrast, my friends have been quick to remind me to enjoy my time not being tied down. They live through my dating life, my random adventures, and freely offer advice on helping me calculate my next move. They are still my cheerleaders, as I am also theirs. So, in the next year, right before I turn thirty, I will savor the moments of sweet baby smells, little laughs, the first birthdays, the inquisitive questions from Ben and enjoy being the hot single aunt. It won't last forever.