While I was constantly going, going, and going all week-- I missed a few workouts. Has that ever happened to you? And you can feel your body needing to release SOMETHING or you are just going to absolutely snap. I set my alarm this morning, hoping to hit the gym before school. But, when it went off at the cruel hour of 5 AM, my body would not move. I just couldn't do it. It was begging for that extra hour of sleep.
So I caved. We slept in til 6 AM. Ha- what a joke.
With that, I forced myself to leave school by 3:30 this afternoon. I knew if I didn't walk out the door, I would get sucked into the work that needed to be done and find myself there until 5:30. I was determined to get to the gym before my evening started. I walked through the gym doors by 4:15.
As I got on the treadmill, I was looking forward to some alone time-- just me and LeCrae on the Pandora. I picked a treadmill with a TV, just hoping to zone out on a HGTV show for the next 45 minutes. And run...to run like my 21 students were behind me, chasing me, forcing me to eat pepperoni pizza and do the Sid Shuffle just one more time before the weekend started.
I started running. I turned on the TV and it was kind of fuzzy. I thought to myself, "Well, what's up with this? This isn't cool." I tried to change the channel, and it just went blank. "Isn't this great?" I thought to myself. I can't switch treadmills now. I'm already running. If I switch, I look like that girl that is somewhat lazy and can't focus on doing just one thing--she just HAS to have that TV. So, I turned off the TV and just ran. I was forced to watch myself in the screen of the blank TV because it was blocking the window in front of me. I am an avid people watcher, but I was on the front row of treadmills. This left people behind me watching me and my big butt. So I knew I really needed to keep up the pace. As I ran, I found myself slowly increasing my speed and incline. The first mile was tough because I kept thinking, "I cannot believe I am going to be staring at myself for the next half hour." But, then I kind of got in a groove, and just zoned out to the music. Before I knew it, I hit my two mile stride. Say what?? My friends tell me I am dramatic runner-- I am always crying, moaning, or throwing a fit because I hate feeling my body being pushed to the next level. Being in a gym, I can't do that. Not everyone can see that insane side of myself personality. So, I had to contain it. At this point, I can feel the sweat forming a puddle on my lower back and in my sports bra.
I told myself, "You can't stop. Focus. Move it. You have a line of full treadmills behind you, four of them with 60 year old men on there. You can't let them show you up!!" So I increased my speed a little bit more. And stared at myself for a little bit longer. (Which by the way, when you have to stare at yourself in a screen, you notice your how ugly your face looks while running. Grossie) As I hit the 2.5 mark, I wanted to stop. But I knew I would hate myself for stopping short of three miles. Now, for you avid runners, you're probably thinking, "Oh wow. Three miles. You're so advanced." Hey- we all gotta start somewhere. And believe me, this is huge for me-- I haven't done three miles in over a month or two. As I neared the three mile mark, I felt my side starting to cramp, my breathing was getting raspy, and my shirt was becoming very uncomfortable. When I hit my three mile mark, I immediately began my cool down--thankful to have the speed knocked down to a gentle jog then walking pace. I was so proud of myself. I could have easily gave up at the first mile mark and said, "Ok. Done. Going home to nap." But I was so out of it, just thinking and not really paying attention, I realized how much farther I had gone than normal.
In the shower, as I was nursing my legs and shoulders, secretly dreading Pilates tomorrow morning, I started thinking about my workout. If the TV had been on, would I have gone as far as I did tonight? Or would I have gotten distracted, slowed down, and not pushed myself? I am going to go with the fact that I would have stopped way before the three mile mark. Something about staring at myself in the face. It forced me to move and keep going.
How often do we get like this is our daily life? I know I get distracted easily. I try not to. But it's kind of hard when you have multiple friends that have undiagnosed ADHD. (Don't worry-- I have already diagnosed them and currently researching a medical drug that I could possibly find, create, or take so that I can keep up with them on a daily basis.) We all have goals--personally and professionally. If not, you need to get you some. Goals are great thing to have--you see what you need to improve, reinvent, or push yourself to the next level. You may have a reward that you are looking towards in the end. I used to run with the image of "the boy" at the end of the finished line, holding my dream engagement ring. (I promise you-- I bet there are so many other girls that have had the same image. I was just brave enough to admit it.) But, then I realized, "Well, that's a stupid goal to run towards because I shouldn't have to chase after it." So, my image is now fitting into my favorite pair of J. Crew shorts--fitting into my favorite Charlotte Rousse worn jeans--toning my butt. Now, that is something I can run towards. But, my distractions? That extra glass of wine. The cheese and guacamole dip from Bronco's. That nap that my body is dying to have on a Wednesday afternoon at 4:30, knowing I should be doing something active. I truly believe you should treat yourself occasionally. If you deprive your body of those treats all the time, you are truly going to crash and burn when you have the first bite--you'll become a total glutton. And when that happens, you deal with it and move on because life doesn't stop to give you a tissue and pat your back. Instead it's going to trample on you and leave you in the dust.
I recently read a quote by Rick Warren about distractions. He said, "We often confuse busyness with productivity and they aren't the same thing. If you keep going, going, going but you aren't spiritually growing, growing, growing. You are busy, not productive."
Bam. Well said, Rick. Worries, money, and earthly pleasures distract us from God's greatness and His will for our life. This past Sunday, Pastor Mike preached on Jesus being the vine, and us being the branches--a story we have heard our whole life. Today, on my LeCrae Pandora station, one verse I heard was, "He's the vine. It may hurt at first when he cuts you back--but know it's going to be worth it in the end. Productive." Seeing the pattern?
Our distractions become our weeds. I hate weeding my yard. I rather trim back all the bushes in my front and back yard than weed. But we have to do it. If I don't stay on top of it, then my flower bed has become a weed infestation. If we don't weed out our distractions or things that are hindering us from growing, we'll miss so stinkin' much. A busy mind can cause us to miss God's whisper. He doesn't have to come at you in some great, obvious way. I mean He can, but His whisper is a whole lot more enjoyable than Him slapping you back to reality.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised. {Hebrews 10:36}
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