YOLO! Or, maybe not?

     It's been a while since I have blogged. I can't really say I've been busy. Nothing just hasn't really hit me lately. That is, until two friends of mine lost their father unexpectedly.

    When I received the news the two different times that my friends' fathers had passed away, I got a sickening pit in my stomach. My first thought was, "My God, this cannot be happening." My second thought is, "I need to be with them. What can I do?" My final thought was, "This is not going to be easy." Anytime someone passes away, you are left with the "What can I do or say?" syndrome. This past winter, Newbie's step-grandfather passed away and he kept saying, "I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I don't like going to funerals." To which I replied, "No one actually enjoys these things. But, the only thing you can do is just to be present when needed and give love. Don't try to make it up with words."

    And I think what made it the hardest was seeing my friends, who are normally such strong willed women who never cry, break in such a fragile moment. Normally it is I who throws the tantrums or the fits with them consoling me and bringing me back to level ground. With them, they weren't throwing fits. They were missing their daddy--the one who was the first man they ever loved, made them laugh, and taught them to love beach music and NASCAR racing. I can't bring their father back to their world, nor can anyone replace their father. So what do we do?  We grieve for a while. We dwell in memories, stories, and songs of those that have passed. But, with all that going on-we continue living life. We slowly pick ourselves up off the floor, regain some sort of normalcy and look onward. Sometimes it's your family that forces you moving on, knowing they need you. It may be your work that you throw yourself into. But whatever it is, you grab a hold on to this sacred piece and you keep going.

    Earlier today, I was talking to one of my friends that just lost her dad a few weeks ago. As we were texting, she made the comment how she hates seeing her FB filled with people complaining about spending time with their family, having to be somewhere they don't want to be, or finding minor things to complain about in their life. Then she wrote, "I would give anything up to have to go to dinner with my dad." Tears instantly welled up in my eyes (and now as I type this). How many of us have had opportunity to spend time with someone and we had a hard heart about it? Or maybe, we just didn't make that person a priority because we think, "Oh, we'll just go to dinner next Tuesday instead...I'll call her Saturday when I actually have time to talk to her." We get so caught up in our own world that we put those that we love on the back burner, thinking they will always be there. We compromise our time with this person--maybe to spend some time with someone else, to just be alone, or rather we just don't want to do whatever we are supposed to do, probably for selfish reasons. 

     I believe this to be true especially in relationships. It is human nature to be selfish and to look out for your own personal best interests, which isn't necessarily a horrible character trait because I believe sometimes you just have to do what is best for you. But in a relationship, you have to commit to put your other half first a lot of the times. See what their needs are and meet them. Maybe it's just a little bit more communication. Maybe it is doing a kind act for that person. Maybe it's just a simple act of listening. You make time for that person because the truth of the matter is, if you really want to be with that person--you will make an honest true to God effort to connect with him/her--and do it with a grateful heart. You make time for who you want to be with (and I think I have written this before...several times). And I use the word connect because right now, for me, seeing my other half isn't really possible at the moment. So, our connecting and making each other priority has resulted to text messages through out the day, SnapChats, and phone calls before bed to debrief about our day. Do we always get to have decent conversations about what is going on? No, not every day. But we try to at least touch base in the morning and evening. And if that doesn't happen, then some re-direction and a new game plan takes place. I would say that we always have tomorrow, but we don't.

    So, I guess my final thought for tonight is, "Who are you making a priority? What are you making a priority in your life?" It may be a job. It may be school. It may be a hobby. Hopefully it's your family and those that you really care for on a daily basis. This past Sunday, Perry Noble, pastor of NewSpring church made the following statement (or at least along these lines because I can't find my random scrap note paper, dang it): When you put someone or something first, it is obviously the most important thing in your life at that moment. I think a major part of this problem is that society tells that it's ok if you don't want to do something or see someone. The morality of putting others first, staying in touch and building those relationships has gone to pot with technology. Yes, a quick scroll through Facebook will leave you thinking, "Oh! Another baby!...Wedding bells, again!...Oh, girl--hit the gym...Oh what an idiotic comment to make." A quick comment or like can suffice but it can't be everything. Maybe we need to take a moment and figure out what we are placing first--are we spending precious moments with people that we truly care about?  We need those moments with friends and family. Just recently, my three best friends and I decided to up our girls night out from once a month to every other week. We realized that we need each other more than ever--all four of us are at four total different points in our life but we balance each other out. So, setting GNO dates in advance holds us accountable to see one another and it gives us something to look forward to at the end of each week.

    Earlier today, I joked with my friend, "YOLO!" and I absolutely HATE that statement. Nothing makes that statement have such a negative connotation when someone you know personally passes away unexpectedly. And we are left reevaluating our own lives, making ourselves feel inadequate because we aren't doing something out of the ordinary- it reminds us that maybe we aren't living these extraordinary, exciting life. But actually you are. Yes, you live only once but don't be reckless with what you have--don't take those around you for granted. Love on them. Talk to them. Be with them. Because at the end of the day, you can't live in the shadow of past regrets or you'll die each time.